Kumari stopped by to play with Nory for an hour last night. They haven't seen each other for two whole months and their reunion was the absolute sweetest. Nory remembered her wonderful nanny and the two of them giggled in her nursery and played with all of her new things.
Well, that happened until Nory got tired and started to fuss. Then "psycho first-time mama" kicked into gear and I wanted to run into the room and snatch my baby. After reading what follows you may or may not consider the "psycho" aspect to be an understatement....
Instead of snatching my baby like a crazy person, I awkwardly pretended that random things (like hair clips) needed to be put away in my room immediately.....like a crazy person. Yep, I creepily did consecutive walk-bys to check-in on Kumari's soothing techniques - criticizing ever single move she made. Horrible, right? It gets worse. When I couldn't take it anymore (because I really was trying to play it cool and tell myself that it would be alright), I closed the door to the kitchen, sat on the stool and started to cry. In that moment, I had basically decided to quit my job, fire the nanny, and stay with Nory 24/7. Then the door opened. And it wasn't Phil. And Nory can't walk or turn door handles yet.
Yep, it was HER. Kumari.
Then I wanted to run into my own room and hide under a pillow. I FELT AWFUL!!!!! I tried to explain myself in the most ESL-friendly words possible.......which became difficult and misunderstood and so I gave The World's Best Nanny a big hug and smile to convey the "it's not you, it's me" idea. I think she got it. I think. I hope....
Anyways, Kumari begins work with us tomorrow and - although I may have cried while cuddling Nory to bed - I have got to TOUGHEN UP! I'm going back to work. School starts Tuesday. Nory and I will be apart for most of the day. It's a daily fact brought to me by my good pal "Reality". Blah.
We'll call tomorrow training day. Wish me luck in this mama episode.
Well, that happened until Nory got tired and started to fuss. Then "psycho first-time mama" kicked into gear and I wanted to run into the room and snatch my baby. After reading what follows you may or may not consider the "psycho" aspect to be an understatement....
Instead of snatching my baby like a crazy person, I awkwardly pretended that random things (like hair clips) needed to be put away in my room immediately.....like a crazy person. Yep, I creepily did consecutive walk-bys to check-in on Kumari's soothing techniques - criticizing ever single move she made. Horrible, right? It gets worse. When I couldn't take it anymore (because I really was trying to play it cool and tell myself that it would be alright), I closed the door to the kitchen, sat on the stool and started to cry. In that moment, I had basically decided to quit my job, fire the nanny, and stay with Nory 24/7. Then the door opened. And it wasn't Phil. And Nory can't walk or turn door handles yet.
Yep, it was HER. Kumari.
Then I wanted to run into my own room and hide under a pillow. I FELT AWFUL!!!!! I tried to explain myself in the most ESL-friendly words possible.......which became difficult and misunderstood and so I gave The World's Best Nanny a big hug and smile to convey the "it's not you, it's me" idea. I think she got it. I think. I hope....
Anyways, Kumari begins work with us tomorrow and - although I may have cried while cuddling Nory to bed - I have got to TOUGHEN UP! I'm going back to work. School starts Tuesday. Nory and I will be apart for most of the day. It's a daily fact brought to me by my good pal "Reality". Blah.
We'll call tomorrow training day. Wish me luck in this mama episode.
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