#momfail

I’m going to start fessing up my mom-related mishaps with this hashtag in order to make other mamas out there feel like the all-stars that they are.  I know you should never seek pleasure in the failures of others, but I’m okay making an exception in this case.  I’ll gladly be the gal you can laugh about!  The thing is, when you’re a mom yourself, and other moms screw up, it magically makes you feel better.  Not superior.  But better.  In the “other moms make mistakes too, I can go on, it’s not just me” sort of way.  Or maybe it’s only me that feels that way?  #guilty  #buthonest!

I screw up A LOT and this one knows it!

Here are three of my latest #momfail situations that come to mind:

1)   Strollers have breaks, right?  Ones you’re supposed to put on to prevent the stroller from moving?  Well, it just so happened that I was at the pool one day and totally forgot to use them.  So, whilst socializing on the other end of the pool, I noticed the breeze pick up and – consequently – our beautiful new stroller rushing towards the deep end.  No child was inside (they were also socializing), but I did have to run across the (wet!) pool deck to rescue our expensive buggy from potential disaster.  Only about 6 people saw.  That I know of.  (I repeat, NO CHILD WAS INSIDE!)

2)   For Father’s Day I purchased a “Coolest Dad Ever” t-shirt for Phil to wear.  I gave it to him a day early and, like all things NEW, he decided to throw it in the wash.  Well, didn’t it come out about five sizes smaller – fitting ME rather than him!  Guess who was the “COOLEST DAD EVER” this Father’s Day?!  HAAAAA.

3)   Nory requested Kraft Dinner for dinner.  (No, this part is not the #momfail…..unless you’re more into nutrition than we are).  Anyways, I was super tired this day and was rushing to prepare it when, MINDLESSLY, assumed I was making a bowl of cereal and poured enough milk in the pot to drown the noodles completely.  Kraft Dinner soup?  Sigh.  Nory barely touched it.

If you ask Phil in private, I’m sure he’d think of a few other #momfails to add to this list.  BUT, if I were anywhere within earshot, he’d deny remembering even the three mentioned here ;)  That’s what good daddy’s do! 

I will make sure to send you more as they happen.  MOMS UNITE!  We’re all in this together!  XOXO

That time I was sick and the four of us shared a hotel room for three nights and then experienced Marineland in the pouring rain and now WE ARE ALL SICK.

Given the circumstances, I swear that I made every attempt to keep my germs to myself.  I washed my hands excessively, kissed my darlings fewer times than usual, and avoided my hourly urge to smother them with hugs and cuddles.  But this cold’s been a fierce one and we woke up this morning to FOUR SICKIES instead of just one.  And not just ANY FOUR SICKIES, but FOUR SPECIFIC KINDS OF SICKIES that make this illness especially difficult to endure.  Allow me to introduce you:

Sickie #1 (Me, MOM):  The person that EVERYONE wants when they are sick.  Husband and children, alike.  Suddenly, and despite Mount Kleenex before me, I am the only person in the house that can pour cereal or prepare the pool or fill a cup with water. 

Sickie #2 (Phil):  He’s a man.  Do I even need to elaborate?  Guys ALWAYS have the “worst” version of any bug going around.  Funny how that happens ;)

Sickie #3 (Nory):  The toddler who doesn’t slow down when the sickness strikes and expects all other sickies to keep the heck up.  Runny nose?  Pfft.  Diarrhea?  PFFFT.  That’s child’s play y’all.

Sickie #4 (Jet):  The baby that wants to be held 24/7 and is only happy when she’s playing peekaboo in the bathroom mirror.  Or when all 37 pounds of her sister is on top of her.  Making sense is for amateurs.  

Is this baby for real?

Sigh.  Each sickie brings their own unique flare to our germ-infested table.  I’m sure some of you are laughing and know exactly what I’m talking about.  Even if you don’t have children, you 100% know I’m SPOT ON about my description of Sickie #2.   

One day, I’m sure we will look back on today and laugh.  Or at least WE SHOULD, especially at the following few incidents:

1)   You know how you separate laundry into piles?  Whites, darks, towels, whatever?  Well, today we introduced a new pile into the rotation:  THE POO LOAD.  (I don’t think this requires explanation.  Nor do I think you really want any). 

2)   There’s this one little dolly in our toy box that has silver jewelry drawn onto her arms.  Well, today Nory was HYSTERICAL about what she could only assume were “tattoos” rather than jewelry.  Consequently, Dolly was sent to time-out and then proceeded to play a really good game of hide and seek thanks to Mom.

3)   I’m not sure what your forecast has been like, but we got plenty of rain at our place this weekend.  However, Nory showed no hesitation this morning as she busted out her watering can and went to town on just about every flower she could find.  There’s no such thing as too much water, right?  ;)

4)   Lastly, there’s this scenario:  happening upon your toddler who is “playing so nicely” in her play kitchen.  Then realizing she was “cooking” with real food that was left on the coffee table.  Then realizing today was too gross already and you’ll clean it up tomorrow.  If any mice pop in later tonight, can they please resemble the friendliness and adorableness of Stuart Little? 

OY!  Bed is calling my name!  (Not that I’ll necessarily be able to sleep, but in this life, I feel there’s always success in trying!) 

 Sending HEALTHY VIBES to each of you!!! xo

TOP CANADA MOMENTS (so far!)

Obviously the ULTIMATE part about being home is seeing ALL OF YOU and watching you interact with our girls in the most kind and loving way.  But if we were to discuss the things that happen IN ADDITION to our visits, here are some of our favourite times:

1)  Arriving to our house in Lakefield to find "welcome home" flowers on the front porch, "welcome home" gifts for the girls in the kitchen, and a "welcome home" stocked fridge!  An extra single bed was even set up for the family and everything was in PRISTINE condition!  Thank you to everyone who made our return so happy and SMOOTH.  WE LOVE YOU!

2)  Listening to Nory's commentary during our first walk-through of the house.  "It's beautiful!  It's beautiful!!!!!  Look at the toys!  They are beautiful!!!!"  She was so excited!!!

3)  The first sister giggle moment EVER.  Nory was in the kitty pool on the deck, throwing a ball and causing little splashes here and there.  Well, Juliet thought it was HILARIOUS and she started giggling out of control.  Which caused Nory to giggle EVEN MORE out of control.  Which caused Jet to giggle EVEN MORE out of control.  Which caused all of us to giggle uncontrollably.  It was a moment that I will never, ever forget!

4)  Our first rainy day.  Nory INSISTED we go out and play and that's exactly what we did!  We watched the cars swoosh by, jumped in puddles by the park, and stood under eavestroughs at the marina.  Nory kept saying how "beautiful" it was and didn't want to return home.  Thank goodness Nana and Grampy were able to find her a special purple raincoat!!!

5)  The fact that Nory has fallen in love with the ALL-STAR performances in High School Musical and requests for the "singing and dancing" to be put on every morning while we're all still waking up.

6)  NORJET MANOR.  You guys.  Grandma and Grumps got Nory and Jet the SWEETEST little playhouse decked out with purple flowers and a kitchen with a menu full of pretend food options.  Nory loved playing in it while we visited them in Wheatley.  Even more exciting, they are going to bring it to our house in Lakefield so that the girls can enjoy it ALL SUMMER LONG! :)

7)  Juliet feeling the wind on her face at the park behind our house.  I wish I caught it on video.  She had this look that was so full of wonder and you could just tell she was HAPPY :)

8)  Our Anniversary, June 25th.  And one moment in particular.  The moment we were sitting at East Side Mario's for dinner and Nory was belting out "I LOVE MOM" to the tune of Barney's "I LOVE YOU" song.  And it went on, you guys.  For an embarrassing length of time.  I was serenaded BIG TIME and not by my husband ;)  Maybe next year!  Haha. 

I started this post a few days ago and I'm going to stop it at EIGHT top moments.  Mostly because I just lost half of this blog post and I'm too annoyed to re-type my thoughts (#hotelwififail).  But also because I have a bad cold and AIN'T NOBODY want to read my Nyquil-induced blog nonsense (you're welcome!).  We leave for Lakefield tomorrow and, although we've had a wonderful time away, we can't wait to relax at the house for the remaining weeks of summer holidays!!!

HELLOOOOOO from CANADA!!!!!!

Forgive me, friends.  Our little house in Lakefield - although hands-down the most adorable place on Earth - is without wifi and so we've been outta touch with everything un-important (the public's opinion, not mine) for the last two weeks.  Which means I wasn't one of the first people to know that Kim Kardashian West is having a boy (GASP!).  It also means that I'm two episodes behind in The Bachelorette with NOT A CLUE as to what's gone down (do you have more respect for me now?).  It also means that I was the VERY LAST PERSON to know about Donald Trump running for Prez (he's REALLY good on reality television so maybe he'll be good in.......reality)?  HAAAA.  I'm basically a pioneer in the world of social media and current events - living life Before The Interweb.  Except for that I KNOW what the Interweb holds and I'm convinced that being a pioneer IN THIS SENSE is way more difficult than it was for those other pioneers who had no idea what they were missing.  Thankfully there are two darling girls that keep me busy and fulfilled :)

I love these girlies SO, SO MUCH!

The flight home was better than expected.  Once again, my pre-journey jitters were a useless expenditure of energy because - besides the fact that Juliet screamed the entire way to the Kuwait airport and then vomited all over me before we actually arrived - the girls were SUPER DUPER.  Nory slept (almost!) the entire way to Frankfurt and, although Juliet didn't sleep very much, she was happy as ever to watch the chaos of air travel.  The girls were EVEN MORE AWESOME on our flight to Toronto, embracing an emergency landing in Ireland as an ideal time to roll around in the bulkhead and apply as many stickers as possible to the nearby walls.  GO TEAM!  Their all-star flexibility was rewarded by several visits from the "Airplane Fairy", who left different toys and activities to make the time pass more smoothly.  (A big thank you to the creators of Shopkins for making this our easiest airplane experience with Nory to date.  I'm pretty sure every Mom could use some Shopkins in their life.  TRUST!!!!!!).   

Some of the treasures delivered by the Airplane Fairy :)

So far Canada has been exactly what we needed to get over the slump we were in at the end of the school year.  It's been so nice catching up with family and friends and enjoying life at our cozy HOME SWEET HOME.  Although, I must admit that Nory has vocalized her desire to "go home" at least once a day since we've been here - referencing our Kuwait flat rather than our Lakefield house.  It's the first time I've realized that her version of "HOME" and our version of "HOME" are completely different.  I'm trying to decide how I feel about that.  It's emotional in some way that I don't know how to explain....
 
Right now we are visiting Grandma and Grumps near Windsor, but we are leaving for Niagara Falls tomorrow and can't wait to show Nory and Jet all of the excitement this city holds!  I wish I had more energy in me to keep on typing, but I'm ALL OUT and Dreamland is calling on me :)  Fingers crossed I can catch up with you some more whilst indulging in hotel wifi this weekend!

Love,
The Pioneer That Wouldn't Have Actually Survived As A Pioneer
XOXO

NARRATING the CAMERA ROLL...

Headed to a post-swim hot chocolate party.  The pool at our building is COLD!

An un-blurry picture of Nory NOT smothering Jet :)

Morning smiles are TOPS.

Juliet and Cecelia!  Juliet is looking up at her bestie and thinking, "how is it that you're already heavier than I am?!"

One of those pictures where I see myself!

That time I got dressed first and PHIL DECIDED TO MATCH ME!  #dreamboat

I love finding dinosaurs with playdoh masks around the house :)

This week had an early celebration for Gem's birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GEM!  WE LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH! xo

Summer nails compliments of the early-birthday girl :) THANK YOU GEM! xo

It's been a little hot around here.  Although I have been spotted in fleece.  And I've also been overheard saying, "Oh nice! It's only 46 today!"

Matching shorts & colourful Nikes for our MOVING COCO PARTY :)  We are so excited that she will only be an elevator ride away next year :)

CONVERSATIONS with NORY.

Conversation #1:

While relaxing after school this week..
 
Nory:  Mommy, I want chocolate please!

Me:  Honey, we don't have any chocolate.

Nory:  (with a smile and head-tilt) Daddy......can you buy me chocolate?

Our little multi-tasking Mommy.

Conversation #2:

While playing with Phil....

Phil:  (in response to getting jumped on) Ugh!!!!!!!!!

Nory:  (looks at Phil's face, looks at me)  It's okay, Mommy.  He's not injured!

And then we were all in stitches over her use of the word "injured"!  Other words that are new-ish around here include: yesterday, telescope, Canada and Sofia's precious "amulet".  I wonder what will come out of her mouth today ;) 

Our Desert Babes.

Big news, you guys!  (Ha!  How many times do I start a post with that exact phrase?  By now, you should know that it's probably ONLY a big deal to me and you shouldn't get too excited about it.)

We got a BATH TUB!!!!!!!

Insert the biggest celebration dance of all time HERE.

This is a really big deal for a few reasons:

1)  Bathtubs are difficult to come by (as an expat, at least!) in Kuwait.  We have three bathrooms in our flat and ALL THREE are equipped with a shower instead! 

2)  Nory no longer fits in the tub she's used since babyhood (SHOCKER!).  She probably stopped fitting it MONTHS ago...

3)  Do you know a two year old that LOVES showers?  Neither do we.  And we also have the frustrating issue of our water being either sporadically BOILING HOT or sporadically NONEXISTENT when we attempt to shower ourselves.

But this isn't the main point of this post.  The main point is that as we were running Nory's first bath in the new tub, we realized that we needed to throw some ice cubes in the tub, too.  With Kuwait being so hot right now (yesterday it went up to 49 degrees!), even on the coldest temperature setting, the water in the early evenings is much higher than Nory likes (or can even handle).  So, Phil retrieved the ice cube tray and Nory and him counted out five ice cubes and threw them into the water. 

Which got me thinking about how BIZARRE that is. 

And how bizarre other things are too.

Like hearing your toddler exclaim "CAMELS!!!!" while driving down the highway.  Or hearing them squeal with PURE DELIGHT at the site of GRASS, GLORIOUS GRASS, rather than playing it cool and walking onto the green stuff like a total pro.  Or hearing them use the word "Sri Lanka" in conversation (a word I never knew/heard of until I was.........17?).   

It's so, so bizarre to me.  All of it.  Because most of the time, as we work our way through the daily routine of life (work, play, eat, bed), it's easy to forget that we're in a different place.  We get so busy with our to-do lists to remember that things are actually different than what we're used to.  In an interesting (and mostly good!) way.  I suppose I'm sort of "smelling the roses" here.

Another wonderful year in Kuwait is coming to an end.  This year, we are so thankful for the outstanding medical care we received in November and December that allowed Juliet to enter this world with full strength.  We are grateful for the new friends who have become like family and the old friends that are like family still (and are moving into our building next year, ha!).  And we are lucky to have two Desert Babes that we fully understand and support as they go to the freezer during bath time.  Or look for camels in a field of cows.  Or look like they escaped a psychiatric ward when given a full field of grass to play on....

Canada-bound TOMORROW! xoxo

Happy HALF-BIRTHDAY, Juliet!

I can't believe how quickly the last six months have gone by.  I remember how terrified I was to bring this sweet little girl home.  Now, I can't imagine her being anywhere other than WITH US :)

Keeping with Parkinson Family tradition, Juliet had her first half-cake for Friday's six month celebration!  We enjoyed the cake on her behalf, but you can see she was quite eager to try it out too!  (Next year, My Love!)

See those itty bitty fingers?!

Some updates on our Half-Year Marvel:

1)  Juliet has become a "roly poly" as Nory calls it.  She loves to lay on a blanket and roll every which way.  You can tell that she wants to get going, too, and is working hard to build up the strength to do so!  GO GIRLIE GO!  You'll be keeping up with your sister before we know it!

2)  She LOVES toys.  More than Nory ever loved toys at this age.  With a pile of Juliet toys around, anything is possible ;)  (Examples:  putting away laundry, drinking a coffee, prepping dinner, etc.)

3)  She FINALLY loves the Ergo!  In fact, even Kumari has been using it with her during the day.  We're lucky this coincides with her first trip to the airport (coming up on Friday evening).  The ability to go hands-free at the airport is a sanity saver :)    

4)  Her smile is infectious.  More than your usual infectious smile.  Sometimes, I can't even handle it.  (Nor can the GB available on my iPhone).

5)  Juliet has learned to love her Daddy equally as much as her Mama.  It took a wee bit longer than Phil hoped (albeit not as long as I liked - joking!), but they are officially in Really-Adorable-Daddy-Daughter-Mode.  Hip, hip!

6)  The sleeping ten hours at a time thing is over.  Thankfully, she's only up to eat quickly and then goes back to sleep :)

7)  Juliet introduced us to her LEGITIMATE LAUGH about two weeks ago.  It is the BEST.  According to her, I'm the funniest person alive ;) 

8)  She's still wearing her 3-6 month clothes, but has a whole wardrobe of 6-9 month items just waiting to be pictured :)  It's unbelievable to see her in things that used to fit Nory!  There's no way Nory was ever that small.......or that she ever let us choose her outfits (THOSE DAYS ARE LONG GONE, my friends)!

9)  She is one CALM CAT.  And every time I say that, I run to the nearest piece of wood.  Knock!!!! 

Happy Half-Birthday to the sweetest, quietest little peanut of all.  Let's see if your reputation holds true in the sky ;)

XOXO

"I just need some time, Mom."

And then we all had 20 minutes of silence.  

Too bad Phil wasn't home to experience it!

Bet you didn't cry the first time your child ate a chicken breast.

I guess I should specify that it wasn't just your average chicken breast.  It was chicken with a creamy mushroom sauce, that hadn't been blended or slow-cooked for hours on end to make it somewhat swallow-able.  Nor did we have to resort to bribery, airplane tricks, or methods of disguise to get the poultry in her mouth.  It was flat-out chicken that she wanted MORE and MORE and MORE and MORE of throughout all of dinner.  And the MORE and MORE and MORE and MORE accumulated to an entire piece!  Of normal person chicken.  That stayed inside her mouth and went down her esophagus to never be seen, ever again.  Let the angels sing!!!!!!!! 

Taken by Nory herself :)

Are you laughing yet?  It's okay if you are.  

The thing is, ever since Nory started on solids, we've had the most difficult time getting her to EAT THEM.  I know it sounds strange, but getting her to chew with her teeth, to stop storing food in her cheeks, and to swallow her food without choking and gagging it back up into our hands?  It's been tough.  Especially with EATING being an unavoidable part of SURVIVAL, as well as something that has to happen multiple times a day.  It's given me meal-time anxiety like nobody's business. 

I'm sure our family and friends can attest to our struggles.  Such as the kind souls who offered to babysit and then seriously considered the Heimlich during snack time.  Or the brave souls who asked our family to eat out.....and then pretended to enjoy their own meal while Nory decorated the table with half-digested pieces of food.  Or the frustrated souls who were micromanaged during food prep:  "smaller...........nope, even smaller......never mind, we will do it!"  WE LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!

Like anything, Google made the anxiety ten billion times worse.  Because as other 8 month olds were chomping down on pork chops (you can YouTube this, people!), my 18 month old was still doing all of the aforementioned.  And I felt TERRIBLE.  Like she wasn't getting enough nutrition.  Like I introduced solids too soon.  Like I introduced solids too late.  Like I introduced the wrong solids at the wrong times.  Like she had some rare disorder that prevented her from swallowing.  Like she had an issue with textures that could only be corrected with intensive therapy.  Like.............DO NOT GOOGLE IT.  Or you will end up like me.

Our pediatrician deserves a GOLD STAR for welcoming us at each and every visit (and for avoiding the use of the terms "crazy" and "irrational" which I'm sure would have been completely appropriate given the circumstances).  Instead, he would reassure us til the cows came home and then finish the appointment with "she's PERFECT!"  Guinness will be rewarding him very soon with a certificate for "number of times you had to reassure the same patient about the same issue."  Thank you, Dr. R!!!

So, really, it's not just me that should have been crying following the True Tale of The Chicken Breast.  Family, friends, Dr. R. and fellow restaurant patrons, REJOICE!  A drama-free dining experience with the Parkinson Family is officially possible (if you keep in mind that she's STILL two!).

That was one long road bump, I tell ya.  In fact, my eyes are tearing up as I type this... 

We love you, Eleanor Douglas!  Please keep eating your big person chicken.  And please, PLEASE, PLLLLLEASE don't make Mommy eat her words.

Some Lindsay & Phil conversations....

You're Welcome!

Conversation #1:

While watching Grey's Anatomy....

Lindsay:  (acting serious) If you ever go to war.....and you tell me you're going to be home in three months.....and then three months comes around and you tell me you're NOT coming home....I'm going to be really, really mad at you.

Phil:  (also acting serious) I'll definitely take that into consideration if I end up going to war.

A midday Thai food date // Exhausted from two weeks of Parkinson illnesses!

Conversation #2:

Discussing an upcoming holiday....

Lindsay:  (excitedly)  Oh!!!  I thought of a really good idea for what to get you for Father's Day!

Phil:  I really don't need anything, Hun.

Lindsay:  Good!  Because it's mostly for the girls and I anyways.

Pre-pool party picture :)  All dressed in red!  CANADA HERE WE COME (SOON-ISH!).

Conversation #3:

Deep conversations before bed.....

Phil:  We're good parents, right Linds?

Lindsay:  Ya, I think so.  (pause)  Except for when it comes to making them sleep.  (pause) Or eat.  (pause) But those are only two of the most important things....

(LAUGHTER)

The Darndest Things, Indeed!

Thank you to all of you kind, kind people who continuously tell me how "awesome" I look.  Or ask me with a somewhat serious face, "how did you lose the baby weight so quickly?!"  Or make the comment of all comments, "WAIT - you had a kid lately?" 

THANK YOU. 

Because whether you're being totally honest or not, I usually leave your presence feeling pretty good about my post-baby-body.  Especially when I see a string of you day-makers in sequence!  Your compliments band together and make me feel as though I REALLY COULD fit in with T. Swift's Bad Blood crew.  Or - even more extreme - throw on a bikini and surprise my family with an "I'm coming swimming in the freezing cold pool too!"  (The latter never, hardly EVER happens).

Pool selfie! :)

Alas, there's nothing like family when it comes to keepin' it real. 

Example:  When you're in your bikini.  Ready to take on the world of public swimming.  And your toddler pokes your stomach and says with a smile, "Mommy!  Your tummy's squishy!!!!"  (Before you even step foot outside the apartment). 

This, my friends, is as real as it gets! 

So. 

A big thank you to Nory for being my everyday reality check ;)  A few things to keep in mind:

1)  Mommy's tummy IS squishy, you're right.  In fact, it might even be squishy-ish forever.  But the trade-off (YOU AND JULIET!) is definitely worth it :)

2)  When it comes to people that aren't your family, please don't ever poke their tummies and comment on their squishy-ness!

3)  If I don't swim with you again, it's a matter of core values.  As in, swimming in cold water is flat-out WRONG.

4)  I hope that Taylor Swift still exists when you're concert age.  And that you like her.  Because that would be one of our best day's ever :)