I've become pretty used to brushing off "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING LADY-WHO-THINKS-SHE-IS-A-MOM?!" judgement from strangers. In my last post alone, I mentioned being questioned for bringing a "SMALL BABY" to the mall and for bringing the same "SMALL BABY" to a noisy basketball game. I handled both considerably well (I think!) and it's all due to the two years of "practice" I've had with Nory. Yes, PRACTICE. As in, it happens so regularly that the number of incidences where you must respond to such remarks accumulates into nothing other than a very large, very epic curriculum. Which makes the word "practice" seems appropriate. And, therefore, I've been "practicing" for two years. (We could actually include the pregnancy part, too, but I'm too tired to factor that in at this point).
The truth is that the minute you become a mom (WOWEE! CONGRATS!) you are also catapulted into this strange world where people of all sorts (even those who have never, ever been a parental figure) take a bizarre, personal interest in how YOU decide to raise YOUR child. I capped the YOU and YOURS there, you guys! Obviously, with intention. People begin to judge you for everything. And not just for the really big decisions, but also for the itty bitty ones that result in a spontaneous plan of attack. Like when your child's nose is suddenly leaking boogies-for-days and you decide to use the bottom of their dress to wipe it off because a) you don't want them to eat the so-called boogies-for-days and b) you forgot a kleenex and c) they are already dirty from crawling around the dusty pavement and it's better they continue to muck up their own attire rather than muck up your own shirt which is still (relatively!) clean. So ya, those itty bitty, last minute, what the heck am I going to do decisions? Those seem to be worthy of judgement too. P.S. Just to recap here, the boogies-for-days were on MY CHILD'S dress, not yours. We clear?!
Anyways, the point of this post is that I really don't care about the judge-y strangers anymore. I have surpassed that initial "oh my gosh a stranger just judged me and I'm the worst mom ever and will be raising my child indoors from this point forward" that happened two years ago. I've learned to laugh it off as best I can and carry on. But in this respect, there is one category of people that I simply can't and don't think I will ever shake off. That is, the people who are close to us! Family and friends. When these people pass judgement on our parenting it plain old HURTS. For days. Because they, of all people, should know that every decision we make (no matter how big or how little) is made out of love.
So.
With that being said.
If our child doesn't sleep the way you want them to, or eat THE WAY you want them to, or eat WHAT you want them to, or play the way you want them to, or know the stuff you want them to.......if WE don't react the way you want us to, PLEASE keep it to yourself. Or at the very least, tell people that aren't going to tell us about it. It's hard enough dealing with the judgement we already pass on ourselves.
I guess this is the part where I say thank you in advance? Or where I bail for more coffee. I guess I'll do both. THANK YOU and COFFEE! xo
The truth is that the minute you become a mom (WOWEE! CONGRATS!) you are also catapulted into this strange world where people of all sorts (even those who have never, ever been a parental figure) take a bizarre, personal interest in how YOU decide to raise YOUR child. I capped the YOU and YOURS there, you guys! Obviously, with intention. People begin to judge you for everything. And not just for the really big decisions, but also for the itty bitty ones that result in a spontaneous plan of attack. Like when your child's nose is suddenly leaking boogies-for-days and you decide to use the bottom of their dress to wipe it off because a) you don't want them to eat the so-called boogies-for-days and b) you forgot a kleenex and c) they are already dirty from crawling around the dusty pavement and it's better they continue to muck up their own attire rather than muck up your own shirt which is still (relatively!) clean. So ya, those itty bitty, last minute, what the heck am I going to do decisions? Those seem to be worthy of judgement too. P.S. Just to recap here, the boogies-for-days were on MY CHILD'S dress, not yours. We clear?!
Anyways, the point of this post is that I really don't care about the judge-y strangers anymore. I have surpassed that initial "oh my gosh a stranger just judged me and I'm the worst mom ever and will be raising my child indoors from this point forward" that happened two years ago. I've learned to laugh it off as best I can and carry on. But in this respect, there is one category of people that I simply can't and don't think I will ever shake off. That is, the people who are close to us! Family and friends. When these people pass judgement on our parenting it plain old HURTS. For days. Because they, of all people, should know that every decision we make (no matter how big or how little) is made out of love.
So.
With that being said.
If our child doesn't sleep the way you want them to, or eat THE WAY you want them to, or eat WHAT you want them to, or play the way you want them to, or know the stuff you want them to.......if WE don't react the way you want us to, PLEASE keep it to yourself. Or at the very least, tell people that aren't going to tell us about it. It's hard enough dealing with the judgement we already pass on ourselves.
I guess this is the part where I say thank you in advance? Or where I bail for more coffee. I guess I'll do both. THANK YOU and COFFEE! xo
I'm pretty sure both of your beautiful, HAPPY girls think you're doing an awesome job, even on the days you aren't so sure yourself! You know them best - keep up the good work! XOXO
ReplyDeleteYou are both awesome parents.......keep up the great job! ��
ReplyDelete