Showing posts with label PARENTHOOD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PARENTHOOD. Show all posts

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Passport Photos. With a Toddler.

Juliet's temporary passport is nearing its expiration date, so we decided to get her passport photos taken in Canada and apply for her new passport once we returned to Kuwait.  Initially, it seemed simple enough.  The job could be done at the pharmacy across the street and Juliet is used to being in front of the camera (#mamarazzi).  EASY.  PEAZY.

Well, these are some FAMOUS LAST WORDS, my friends.

(If only we had the security surveillance video from this Parkinson Affair.) 

Introducing Our Passport Photo Experience, By The Freak-Out:

The first attempt included Juliet and Phil only.  Because, how hard could it be?

Freak-out #1 - Juliet refuses to sit on the photo stool by herself.  Phil lost some beard hair and gained some scratch marks on his arms and neck.

Freak-out #2 - Phil retrieves Smarties for bribery purposes, but faces the same battle once Juliet realizes it's all a trick.  More beard hair gone.  More scratches obtained.

At this point, Juliet was hysterical and Phil left the store with a box of stolen Smarties.  He returned to the house to pick up the rest of the team for attempt number two.  Nory was reluctant to leave the house (#ownagenda) and stayed in her Minnie Mouse footie pajamas for the journey.  We promised her a treat when we got back to the house.  (P.S.  Does everyone use bribery as much as we do?  No?  Oh.) 

Freak-out #3 - My gift wrap and ribbons dance (compliments of Hallmark!) was only effective with fellow shoppers.  Everyone in the entire pharmacy was smiling except for Juliet (and if I used the term "FML", I would use it in this very instance).  Also, it turns out your face must be snot-and-tear-free in passport photos.  Who knew?

Freak-out #4 - We finally ditched the stool.  Phil did some serious yoga with Juliet on his shoulders in order to get the perfect shot.  Things were going well until the camera broke.

Freak-out #5 - While the lady was fixing the camera, Juliet swatted the box of Smarties out of my hands and Nory shrieked at the dispersal of Smarties on the pharmacy floor.  This sent Nory off to find new treats in other parts of the pharmacy.  MARCO?????????

Freak-out #6 - The camera is working, snot-less snapshots were taken and we think we're home-free!  Alas, there was a glare on Juliet's forehead and the shot was unusable.  I think this freak-out was had by Yoga-Daddy Phil.

Freak-out #7 - Nory is tired of being at the pharmacy.  Juliet's passport photo has still not been secured.  I decide to give-in and let Nory buy the whole store.

Freak-out #8 - SUCCESS!  A picture is taken that meets all of the passport requirements!  HALLELUJAH! Let's check-out and BLOW THIS POP-STAND!  But wait, Nory starts crying because she didn't get her picture taken too...


It was a TRIP, I tell you.  The photos were supposed to cost $14.95.  BUT......after leaving the store with two passport photos, one pack of Smarties, one giant Shopkins toy, one iPad stand/drink holder, and a giraffe neck pillow, the ACTUAL TOTAL cost of our passport photos was $68.95.

To make ourselves feel better, we've divided this amount by the number of valid passport years.  It eases the soul. (And other lies we tell ourselves...)

In case you forgot, don't ever take parenting advice from us ;)

THREE CHEERS FOR TRAVEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 27, 2015

Parent Communication at its FINEST.

While laying in bed, reflecting on the worst Nory tantrum of all time…

Phil:  Do you know what finally made her stop?

Lindsay:  No, what?

Phil:  I farted.

Bet you’ve never seen that one in a parenting manual ;)

A girl can't be THIS SWEET all the time.
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On the way home from renting “Tangled” at the movie store…

Lindsay:  I can’t find Nory’s Rapunzel toy anywhere.  I think we left it at the hotel in Niagara Falls.

Phil:  No we didn’t. 

Lindsay:  But I’ve ripped the house apart looking for it.  I’m telling you, she is nowhere to be seen.

Phil:  She’s in my packsack. I’ve just been lazy and haven’t taken her out yet.

Lindsay:  (Annoyed) I’ve been looking for Rapunzel for THREE WEEKS, PHILLIP!!!!!!!!!!!!   

Phil:  (Grinning) Well, Hun, I didn’t know that you were doing that.  This is why communication is so important in a relationship.

HA.  Thanks a lot, Dr. Phil.  
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Just Phil and I, chatting upstairs the other morning…..

Phil:  So, once you’re ready, we’ll leave for the Z-O-O……(pause)…..I have no idea why I’m spelling that out for you.  

Lindsay:  (laughs) I was wondering the same thing!

It’s got me thinking, how do people communicate when their children can spell?  ;)

Friday, May 8, 2015

The Longest Week. Maybe, EVER.

Last Saturday morning, Phil took both girls to the doctor's office - one for a check-up (Juliet) and one for a "what the heck is this rash?" appointment (Eleanor).  Both visits went well and Phil left the office with a two thumbs up for Jet's growth and development (woot!), a bottle of cream for Nory's rash (which is gone now, yet still a mystery), and the hilarious memory of the doctor exclaiming, "Nory is ONLY in the 90th percentile for weight now!"  Haha.  Nory has been in the 95th percentile for the longest time, but it seems that the elimination of naps (ah-hem TWO EXTRA HOURS OF NON-STOP ACTIVITY PER DAY) is burning even more calories.  What can we say?  The Nornado is a force!!!

As close as possible, ALWAYS. 

Anyways, on Sunday Jet needed to go for her four month vaccinations.  We know she's already five months old, but vaccinations come with a spacing issue and we can thank our wonderful pal REFLUX for screwing up the schedule.  Good thing the four month vaccinations are our favourite. 

Except for that I'm lying.

We knew from prior experience that THIS PARTICULAR SET OF VACCINATIONS equates to unhappiness and exhaustion. 

Heart-breaking :(
The thing is, Juliet was ALREADY teething (and uncomfortable!) pre-vaccination.  Her bottom gums have been inflamed for the past two weeks and she's been A TOUCH warm here and there.  So it didn't help that we added to the teething experience by introducing achy legs and an honest-to-goodness fever via two big jabs.  Consequently, we pulled an all-nighter on Sunday night (party!!!!) and then did it again on Monday night (wooooo!!!!).  Jet wanted to be held - and moving - ALL NIGHT LONG.  Which I suppose is superior to a full-fledged tear fest all night long.  Yes, yes it IS.  Our Darling Girl remained her quiet self, just uncomfortable and in need of Mommy and Daddy cuddles :) 

On Tuesday night, with the fever STILL THERE and the appearance of a stuffy nose and coughing, we were advised to head to the clinic.  Phil and Juliet headed out around midnight - in the lightning and hail storm! - while I waited around anxiously at home.  The verdict?  A TRIPLE WHAMMY!  Teething, Post-Vaccination Blah-ness, and a Respiratory Infection!  The doctor said to continue the medicine for fever and to bring her back on Thursday if the fever continued.

On Wednesday, Jet was coughing and stuffy but the fever was starting to go down.  We sorta slept on Wednesday night (HOORAY!) and were thrilled to come home on Thursday to find out that Juliet remained fever-less ALL DAY LONG!!!!  YIPPEEE-YA-HOOO!  We smiled at the thought of a good night's rest and a return to SANITY. 

Our after school photo from yesterday.  LET THE SLEEP-DEPT-OPTIMISM shine through!!!!

On the mend.  Or so we thought!

Then Thursday night happened.  And not only did Jet's fever return with OOMPH, Nory's temperature had skyrocketed and we awoke (I mean, if we were ever sleeping) to two really sick babies.  Which is why we packed up the kids and spent the morning at the hospital.

The downsides of CLOSENESS!  Germ-sharing!!!!!

Still in her Princess Sofia night dress and cat slippers.  The girl continues to maintain quality speed when she's sick!

K-POP joined us for a while.  You can tell that Juliet is the BEST BABY EVER because she was so smiley and happy despite the bloodwork contraption they kept taped to her foot.  BRAVE!

We were at the hospital from eight until noon and are still waiting on test results.  The doctor told us that there have been many kids coming in with an awful virus, so there's a chance it's just that.  However - with Juliet - they are being a little more cautious due to her extended fever and premature status (p.s. will she ever lose that?).  Let's hope whatever it is goes away ASAP.  

Sigh.  At least there's not a jumpy castle/slide available for the kids in the courtyard today.  And at least report cards aren't due on Sunday.  And at least exams aren't due at the end of this week.  HAAAAAA!!!!!!!!  ;)

One day Phil and I will get to sleep like these two did on the way home from the hospital: 


Until then, let's not mistake FEVERISH BABIES for BABY FEVER.  Completely, totally, ABSOLUTELY on opposite ends of the spectrum.  We've got our hands full with TWO!

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Tonight's Bath Time.

Let's start with Nory.  The girl who begs for two or three tubbies a day.  The girl who takes great joy in bubble baths and colour baths and only ever LONG, LONG baths.  The girl who always comes out all wrinkled and prune-y and not even close to being finished.

Well, if tonight was any indication, these things are of the past, people!

Tonight. 

T.O.N.I.G.H.T.

Nory scream-cried like no other, refused to get into the tub, and even pleaded "I HAVE TO POTTY" in order to keep herself out of it.  Washing her hair was a whole other obstacle that Phil volunteered to tackle (BLESS HIM!), while I whisked Jet away to our room where we blared nursery rhymes and pretended everything was normal.  It was one HELLA BIG game of pretend, you guys.

So that was a first.  

Next up was Jet.  She acted like a total gem in the tub - smiling up at us with big blue eyes, staying as quiet and still as ever, accelerating the get-clean process by 100% compliance!  Thankfully, Nory was calm by this time too and we were thrilled to be ALMOST finished with bath time routine.  With the end in sight, I got Juliet a towel, Phil picked her up and................VOMIT.  All over her face, all over her chest, all into the bath water.

Sigh.

To make us feel even more defeated, once both kids were clean, pajamas were ON, and everyone was sprawled out on the big bed, our Manipulating Eldest flashed us a grin and said "that was FUN!!!!!"

It was then that we decided the toddler years are FOR REAL kicking our @$$.
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