Dear Eleanor

Right now I am reading a book called "Wonder" written by R. J. Palacio.  It is really good so far, although the storyline is not the happiest tale that's ever been told.  It's about a young boy named August who is attending school for the very first time as a fifth grader.  Being a new kid at school is really tough (I have some experience in this department), but being a new kid at school with a facial deformity is even tougher.  That's something that August has.  A facial deformity.  It means that his face looks differently than most faces, although he is just as much of a person as you or Daddy or I.  Unfortunately, the reality is that people can be cruel and August has a difficult time being accepted by all of the students at his school.  There are kids that make him feel bad about himself - calling him names or whispering hurtful things as he walks by.  As a teacher, as a mom, and as a person who tries their best to be kind, it is really difficult to read.  I have found myself in tears more than once, heartbroken that others would treat somebody so terribly.  But yet I keep reading August's story and through it all we learn about something else that August has - COURAGE.  This means that he goes to school every day even though he is afraid to.  It's an admirable quality in a person and your Daddy and I will do everything we can to arm you with this trait as you grow older. 

I'm only about 1/3 of the way through the book, but it has really got me thinking about the things that I want your Daddy and I to teach you.......

The biggest one is to BE KIND.  TO EVERYONE.  No matter what they look like, where they live, where they come from or what they wear.  You're special, my darling, but you're not better than anyone else.  You're not too important to say hello and smile, to hold open a door, to give a compliment or to help out with the dishes.  We'll teach you to remember people's names (because that matters) and to give back wherever you can (even in small ways).  We don't expect you to like everyone, My Girl, but we sure as heck expect you to be kind to everyone.     

Something else I want to teach you?  To BE YOURSELF.  No matter what anyone else tells you, the best person you can possibly be is YOU.  As you grow up, you will learn to appreciate people who are genuine.  Whether they are genuinely bossy or blunt or unbelievably negative.....so long as they are genuine, you will come to appreciate them.  So long as YOU are genuine, people will love and appreciate you too!  

One last thing, My Darling.  I want to teach you to STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT.  If you see someone being mistreated, I want you to SAY SOMETHING.  Whether you say it to me, your Daddy, your grandparents, your Aunties, your Uncles, your teacher, or to the bully himself.....please oh please speak up!  This takes courage.  Remember I was telling you about courage earlier?  It's not as easy as it sounds, but I hope that in teaching you kindness, the strength to defend others comes more naturally to you.  

I know these are some BIG LESSONS and I know they aren't as simple as I make them seem.  Even your Daddy and I still struggle with them from time to time.  However, as long as you start each day with the intention to BE BETTER, the goodness in your soul will shine through! 

I can't wait to finish the rest of the book.  It's a little grown up for you just yet, but perhaps one day we can read it together.  For now, we will stick to "Penguin Says Please" and "Bear Says Thank You" - both of which will teach the same lessons I've told you about right here ;)

We love you, Eleanor.
XOXO