The House of NO RULES.

This is an honest-to-goodness place you guys and we aren't talking about our place, either!

If you know me at all, you know that I am a total rule-abiding individual.  I'm the gal that is always on time for work, follows the recipe 100%, and points out rule-breakers in public (HUN, THE SIGN SPECIFICALLY SAYS "NO SMOKING!!!!").  I'm also that super annoying girl that ratted you out for leaving garbage on the park bench or cutting the line at the grocery store check-out.  This is why spending the entire first recess against "the wall" (for playing on wet monkey bars) still seriously affects me.  And that happened in grade one....age six.  Sorry, duty teachers!   

Then there's my husband. 

He's not so much a rule-abider.  (If you know him at all, you're laughing at this statement and I'm going to - once again - remind you to keep any stories about the Pre-Lindsay-Phillip to yourself.)  That being said, Phil is one heck of a rule-enforcer.  He likes order.  Dress socks with dress socks and sports socks with sports socks.  DVD's should be stored alphabetically, your email inbox should always read "empty", and the money in your wallet should be arranged smallest to largest.  As for coins?  You best go get yourself a coin purse, my friends!  To Phil, things have "places", happiness is a clean house, and children crave order just the same. 

"Cleaning is FUN!!!!!!!!!!!"

As a union it's clear that Nory hit the jackpot and easily has the very worst combination of parents a child could ask for.  CONGRATULATIONS, MY LOVE!  You belong to a family that likes things done a certain way.  Playdough happens at a table.  Bubbles aren't for indoor use.  Juice is for cups with lids.  Kitchen toys go in the sparkly bin.  You can splash all you want outside.  And sauce-less spaghetti is the only way you get to DIY at age two.  Rules, GLORIOUS RULES!!!!!!  It's a beautiful thing, really.

But a house of a different sort exists in our building.  It is one with "no rules" and we often visit because they have a darling toddler whom Nory adores.  The parenting duo at this house are completely opposite from Phil and I (we're talking extremes here, people!).  At this house, Nory can use the water dispenser (gasp!) and run full force into the living room, spilling splashes of water here and there and.....no biggie.  Nory can chase the three-legged cat around the dining room table all the while laughing and screaming and......no biggie.  Nory can spill mac and cheese on the floor, empty the chalk bin, and colour on the wall and........no biggie.  She can even help herself to food on any of their plates (with what I can only assume are the germiest of hands!) and.......no biggie!  It's weird, you guys.  It's like nothing can get to these people.  It's all hunky-dory, all-the-time. 

So then there was this time we were invited over for dinner.  It was during Nory's "potty training relapse" and just about every fluid/solid that could come out of Nory's body did that evening.  Yes, pee, poop and puke, you guys!  The most embarrassing bodily trifecta in our opinion right there in their quarters and these people didn't even wince!  Instead, as Phil's blood pressure went through the roof and I wanted to hide in a closet forever, the not-so-high-strung parenting couple laughed hysterically and struggled to see why we were so bothered by it all.  (I mean.....come on.  Dear readers, you simply MUST understand why we were so bothered by it all.....)

And then there was last night.  When we were at their house again and the girls stripped down to their undies to go wild with the finger paints.  Before it began, I remarked "this is going to be TERRIBLE."  To which the More Relaxed Mama said with a smile, "oh ya, it's going to be AWFUL!!!"  She was smiling, you guys!  With two toddlers and a slew of paint and a soon-to-be-really-gosh-darn-messy living room floor.  S.M.I.L.I.N.G.  It gets better, too!  Because after this excitement, the toddlers ended up in the tub where they flooded the bathroom floor MORE THAN ONCE.  And you know what?  The entire debacle (or as seen so by us) was NO FREAKIN' BIGGIE! 

Le sigh.  This whole friendship has got me thinking.  All these rules we have in place.  These rules we made to keep our house stress-free and ZEN.  They are kind of a bunch of GARBAGE.  Because the real truth is that the ZEN HOUSE is theirs.  Mmmm hmmm....the house where naked is as good as dressed and messy is as good as clean?  THAT HOUSE........WITH NO RULES............is STRESS-FREE.  (I wonder if you have the same look on your faces as I do on mine this second.  HA!) 

Perhaps Phil and I need to have a chat about our parenting style moving forward.  Or perhaps we just need MORE regularly scheduled play dates (like ones that happen every single day) at the HOUSE OF NO RULES.  Yes, maybe it's better to perform "no rules" in a setting that is used to it.  HA!!! 

We love you HOUSE OF NO RULES.  Thank you for teaching us a little bit about the calmness in chaos!!! XOXO

We've been potty training.

FOR MONTHS!  But somewhere along the line I think I forgot to tell you that. 

"Oh Mom, do you have to?!!!"

I believe we started back in November.  Maybe October.  And as expected, the first few days were a total gong show.  Phil and I kept looking at each other, wondering if the nay-sayer's were right......wondering if we really should wait a few more months.  But as a duo we stayed strong (go team)!  We reminded each other to take deep breaths, stay calm, and that pee on the carpets was far better than puke (and there has been plenty of that, too!).  Anyways....it was hard.  There was always a puddle to clean up and it seemed as though we became one-handed people, with paper towel and cleaning spray in the other hand at all times.

HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!

As hoped, it got better!  Within a week or so, Nory caught on to this whole potty business and we were once again on top of the parenting world!  It seemed the days of going to the potty every thirty minutes, singing songs on the bathroom floor and tag-teaming in and out of the tedious situation were behind us!  Nory would say she had to go and we'd run to the bathroom, take care of business, and be back out to play in a flash.  She reached a point where she didn't even need diapers during nap times and would keep a pull-up dry during outings to the mall.  The best part was that all of this was reached without any of these so-called bribery tips and tricks (minus the thrill of flushing the toilet afterwards!).  TOP. OF. THE. PARENTING. WORLD.  THE VERY TOP, YOU GUYS!  

HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!

As totally UN-expected (because we didn't read up on the subject prior to beginning this entire potty-training ordeal), the week after we brought Juliet home from the hospital, our potty training was forgotten and it was as though Nory had never heard of the word "potty" in her short little life.  UGH.  Back to puddles, non-stop clean-up's, and absolute frustration.  And you know what?  Keeping each other calm during ROUND TWO of potty-training?  NOT SO EASY, people!  NOT SO EASY AT ALL!  Phil and I were pulling our hair out, trying to figure out what in the world we did wrong.  We immediately blamed ourselves and felt like we'd been knocked off the parenting podium to this abstract and uncomfortable world of people-that-are-parents-but-really-shouldn't-be.  And since we were also dealing with the exhaustion that comes with a newborn (and still had YET to read any potty training material at all), we ALMOST threw in the towel and put the diapers back on.  Doubts flooded in.  That Nory wasn't ready.  That we pushed her.  That all those who warned us were right. 

But before we full-on QUIT, we decided to try out some bribery. 

"Nory, do you want icecream?  Then go potty!"

"Nory, do you want chocolate?  Then go potty!"

"Nory, do you want a sticker?  GO POTTY PLEASE!!!!"

Nory didn't bite.  NOT EVEN ONCE.  NEVER!  What kid doesn't want icecream?  Or chocolate?!  Or stickers (which were awesome and purchased SPECIFICALLY for this very purpose, might I add)?!!!!!  I suppose the answer was:  OUR STRONG-WILLED, CANNOT-BE-FOOLED daughter.

So we resorted to bribery of different sorts.  Bribery that might be more appealing to Nory...

"Nory, do you want to go on your bike?  Then we have to go potty!"

"Nory, do you want to wash your hands and play with the water?  Then go potty!"

"Nory, do you want to play with the flashlight?  Then go potty!"

Luckily, these things worked (albeit temporarily!) and gave us the wee bit of momentum we needed to get the ball rolling again!  In the meantime, I finally did the potty research I maybe should have done from day one.  Turns out these relapses are completely normal, especially during times of stress like WHEN A NEW SIBLING IS BROUGHT INTO THE HOUSEHOLD.  Phewfffffff.  Maybe we weren't the worst parents after all!

SO.

As it stands, Nory (KNOCK ON WOOD times 100000000) seems to be back on track in the potty department.  HOORAY!!!!!! 

BUT.

Remember how I did that bleepin' research?  Turns out that relapses can happen more than once and it's still absolutely normal.  Oh joy. 

With that, it's time for some more coffee before the little ones awake and the fun continues!  Wishing all you potty-training mamas and papas lots of patience and good luck! xo

In honour of this sunny, Sunday morning...

.....allow me to share some of the conversations we've had with our absolutely fierce, incredibly hilarious, brilliantly manipulative, (almost!) two year old:

After referring to both Mickey and Minnie Mouse as "MICKEY" for MONTHS....

Me:  (excitedly pointing out her MINNIE Mouse pajamas)  Oh!  Look who is on your pajamas!  It is Mickey Mouse!

Nory:  (using her serious tone) NO, NO, NO.  MINNIE Mouse.

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During yesterday's car ride.....

Phil:  (happily)  Nory's starting to say 'yes' more, eh Hun?!

Me:  (also happily)  That's because we're YES GIRLS, right Nory?

Nory:  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (bursts into laughter)

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While getting ready to go outside this morning....

Me:  Nory, do you want to wear your green shoes or your purple shoes?

Nory:  Ummmm.......slippers!

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Remember it takes a village, my friends!  She might end up on the next red eye to your hometown!  Then again, things LIKE THIS make us want to keep her ;)

"Sister!  Sister!  Sister sleep!  Sister sleep my bed!"

Wardrobe Woes.

When the newborn sleepers are too tight and the 0-3 month ones are too big...

Bedtime just got seriously cuter.  And funnier.  And before you know it, she'll be out of these ones too!

Things that have happened since I last wrote:

1)  We read a book (or attempted to read a book) called "Eleanor" which made Nory go absolutely giddy.  It's no longer a Parkinson-approved bedtime book.

2)  We took Jet to the hospital after some concerning coughing-until-her-face-goes-purple-and-vomit-comes-out fits. Turns out she had a bad cold (now gone, thank goodness!) mixed with reflux.  Moving forward, feedings are to be upright (as well as the 30 minutes following a feeding) and they suggested she sleeps in an inclined position.  These things have helped, but she still has a cough/wheeze/irritability throughout the day which means there has been lots of cuddling.  LOTS!  Surprisingly though, she still manages to be a quiet little thing (and strong too)! 

Under observation at the hospital.  It was FREEZING in there!!!

Nory believes in pet therapy for reflux ;)

3)  I ate a chicken mcnugget happy meal.  Ew.  It's shocking that I'm still alive to talk about it...

4)  I updated the little blurb in the blog sidebar.  The family profile needed to be revamped to include our newest little lady :)

5)  Nory had a blast with her twin at the mall.  Her twin was much quieter but equally as active.

6)  We (ah-hem, ELEANOR) brought a white cat to the courtyard.  Said cat has since been whirled through the washing machine in an attempt to return it to its original colour.

7)  I admitted to my limited contribution in the execution of Juliet's baby shower.  To which I was reminded that I've actually played a key role...

8)  Phil and I had a really romantic evening of eating Kraft Dinner (chez moi) and watching YouTube videos to figure out our various baby carriers (THANK YOU, PHIL!).  I'm pretty sure we could call that a date at this point.....

9)  Juliet's due date arrived and we decided that December 5th was so much trendier.  And warmer.  And better for Phil's basketball schedule ;)

10)  Nory served me a donut, a cake, and eggplant for lunch yesterday.  My reaction was so enthusiastic that she decided it was a great dinner choice too.  YUM!!!!!!!  #thankgoodnessforpretend

11)  After 8 failed attempts with the Moby Wrap, four failed attempts with the Ergo (plus infant insert), and three failed attempts with the Baba sling, Juliet finally caved last night and allowed me to go hands-free as she slept in the Moby.  PHEWF!  Let's hope she continues to find comfort in the most complicated wrap ever sold.

12)  Nory and I matched.  You guys know that matching is my FAVOURITE!  Even our steps match!!!!!! #thatishowweroll

Oh - and THIS just in - Nory was crying "sick, sick" and then proceeded to vomit twice about twenty minutes after that.  So if the blog ever gets quiet (which it often does)......and you're wondering what in the world we're up to over here.....just know that we're LIVING THE DREAM ;)  HAAA!!!  Let's hope she doesn't pass whatever this bug is along to Juliet!

MADAM.

Kumari has been calling me "Madam" since we hired her.  I remember how much it bothered me in the beginning...how I was constantly reminding her to drop that title and call me Lindsay (minus the Madam!).  But the woman refused (as she does with many things that act to dissolve that strict employee/employer boundary) and I have since dropped the issue altogether.  Oh well.

But then the other day I got thinking.  The fact that I am called "Madam" is SUPER, SUPER weird.  I mean, I am the "Madam" of the house.  THE BOSS.  Someone apparently important.  The one that gives Kumari - the lady who is not only older and wiser than I am, but the lady who has raised a bazillion children throughout her career - orders on how to raise our babies.  HA!  Really, think about this.  Little old me, less than two years a mom - giving BABY INSTRUCTIONS and HOW TO'S - to a woman who has, I'm sure, worked with every type of baby you can imagine.  HA!!!!!!  It's super weird, guys.  SUPER, SUPER weird.

In other news, today I wanted to both jump out the window AND add at least ten more children to our family all within the span of a few hours.  Stop with the faces, people - if you're in the club, you've been there ;)  GOODNIGHT ALL!!!! xo

IF YOU WERE HERE FOR TEA.

*  I finally managed to get into The Real Housewives of Orange County (#firstworldproblems).  Currently watching Season 8!

*  Have any of you tried gel nails?  I dove in for the first time last week and I'm just not sure what to make of them.  I mean, leaving the nail salon without having to worry about smudging my nails was a good thing, but these supposedly "un-chip-able nails" starting chipping for me on day #2.  DAY TWO, PEOPLE!  Clearly I need a lesson in gentle nail care because people are shocked when they hear this result.  #notevenanailbiter #youstillhavetogetthemremovedatthesalon

*  Jet is still fighting this nasty cold.  And it's getting more and more difficult to clear her nose because her eyes are starting to focus better and she can see the dreaded nose-sucker coming!  Nights have been a bit longer than usual (wait - days have been too), but I'm trying to stay positive and savour all of these "cuddle me please" moments because they simply won't last forever.  (For some kids, they don't exist at all!  #nory)

*  HASHTAGS.  I dig them. 

*  Yesterday I made some homemade cheese crackers and during my time in the kitchen I decided that I will forevermore only make heart-shaped crackers.  It's my belief they taste significantly better that way.  So I'm sticking to it!  We also had family pizza night and Nory took on the role of sous-chef.  She did a great job putting the seasoning on the pizza crust and a really, really great job of putting the cheese on too (only the second part is true....unless you like lots of tablespoons of seasoning on your pizza).  Next time, we will all grow from this wonderful family experience and limit Nory's role to "cheese gal".  She will totally excel at that ;)

*  Today Nory and I are getting a ride into "town" to go and cheer on the bulldogs at a basketball game!  We will meet Phil after his practice and then head over to the old campus to cheer on those boys that we still love so much!  GO BULLDOGS!!!!!!!!  Also, I can't wait to get out into civilization.  The type of civilization that does not revolve around a doctor's appointment. 

*  Emily (and not so much me) is really busy planning Jet's "Welcome to the World" party and Nory's second birthday party.  She is the "go big or go home" type, which means these are going to be some pretty OUTSTANDING events :)  Thank you God Mama Gem for all the hard work you put into making beautiful memories for our family!  WE LOVE YOU! xo

*  Somewhere along the way I have developed a pretty intense fear of cats.  I mean, our family cat (now in cat heaven....maybe) has always caused me to be a little bit anti-cat, but since his passing I've become even more skeptic that I could possibly develop a loving relationship with these spastic creatures.  My notion on unpredictable creatures remains true to this day:  they scare me.  Cats.  Birds.  Other animals in nature.  And, at times, toddlers. 

*  I get really attached to my travel mugs, you guys.  For the last 4 years, I have used a green Starbucks mug that Phil and I purchased during our wedding trip to Cyprus.  One piece of the lid had broken off, there was condensation in the formerly pretty outside casing, stains on the inside and some taste retention had also taken place (you know, where your coffee tastes like coffee with a little extra something).  Anyways, I took the plunge (as I did with gel nails - there's a theme to this post, people!) and purchased a new flashy Starbucks mug before Christmas.  Well, GOOD NEWS!  The old one has been tossed and I am IN LOVE with my brand new one :)  In fact, it's become my go-to mug for both INDOORS and OUTDOORS.  HOORAY!

*  Receiving the news "you haven't gained weight, but you haven't lost much either" from your doctor is a little odd.  Is she disappointed in me?  Is that a bad thing?  Didn't you ban me from intense physical activity for weeks?  Haven't I been trying to survive this transition period of toddler plus newborn?  I don't know.  But now I feel guilty and, not only is my FitBit ON, it is being used as a motivational tool.  If Jet can't sleep at night, you can bet I'll be walking the flat...back and forth....back and forth....

*  The final season of Parenthood is giving our tear ducts a workout.  I'm telling you, we didn't even last 30 seconds in last week's episode before we were crying like babies on the couch.  And I don't think it's because of my hormones.  Or because we're overtired.  I think they were legitimate tears that normal people would cry out! 

*  We have REALLY, REALLY wonderful friends here.  The type that message you just because, drop off hand-me-downs for the girls, or send you videos of your little one dancing up a storm.  It's so nice to belong to this community in Kuwait :) 

"The Dip"

I don't know why we call it this and I'm not sure why Jet likes it so much.  But it is an ideal, go-to position of ours.  It allows you to be entertained with various cute baby faces all the while providing a good range of motion to soothe her back to sleep.  It also allows you to eat the snack you made several minutes prior and drink a coffee while it's still somewhat hot (three cheers for being HANDS-FREE)!  Maybe we should patent this idea too...... 

She's ONE MONTH OLD!

It's a real wonder that all of these endless nights, dirty clothes, and cups of coffee have added up to 30 whole days of life for our littlest one.  Sometimes (like at 2 a.m. when I can no longer keep my eyes open....even a smidgen!), the days seem to drag.  At the same time, it's completely logical that the clock ticked all the way to ONE MONTH while we snuggled Jet silly and kissed her forehead a billion times.  Happy moments seem to accelerate time in every instance I can think of.  No matter the case, here we are at ONE MONTH OLD!

Jet continues to be a quiet and EXTRA cuddly little sweetheart!  The only time she really shows any discomfort is right after we take her out of the tub to dry off.  She is NOT a fan of being cold (hmmm...where might that trait come from?) but Phil and I have developed a post-bath-time "mute button" which should probably get patented and shared with parents across the globe ;)  It goes like this....

1)  Phil heats up beanie in the microwave.
2)  I lay Jet's towel out on the bed and wrap the hot beanie inside it.
3)  We give her a bath.
4)  One of us gets the (now warm!) towel from the bed and the other gets Jet out of the tub.
5)  Wrap her up!  Bring her back to the bed and lay her beside (the still warm!) beanie! 
6)  Laugh about how INSTANTLY her cry switches off and then pat her dry and get her ready for "bed".

I'm telling you people.  Short-term results for this procedure are FIVE-STAR!  I will get back to you on the long-term outcome of our post-bath-time mute button :)

Wait.  Back to step six where I remark "get her ready for bed".  HAAA!!!  Jet is still getting up to eat every 1.5 to 2 hours on average (sometimes sooner!) and I think that's been the hardest part of being her parents so far.  Nory was already sleeping in long stretches at this point, but the doctor said that Jet has more catching up to do and this sleep trend is very normal for preemies in the first little while.  At yesterday's weigh-in, she scored a 7.5 (pounds!) and in the past three weeks she has grown 5.5 cm!  The pediatrician was so thrilled!!!!  WAY TO GO, JET - that nickname of yours is proving to be more and more fitting.  Let's hope you get over your first cold (BIG BUMMER) as quickly as you have done other things.

Before I sign off here, I would like to thank really bad (or amazing!) television for keeping me somewhat alert during all these exhausting, nighttime hours.  I would also like to thank a noisy little toddler who also lives here for keeping me ON MY TOES during all these exhausting, daytime hours.  Our house is a bit of a circus right now and, at this point, I'm almost certain we could start charging admission.  Just ask our good pals in Kuwait!  The night time show is usually the best ;)

Oh how I love being a Mama to two little girls.  They are the GREATEST.  No sleep and tantrums included.

Speechless.