Lately, I've been finding it really difficult to balance teaching, parenting, wife-ing, friend-ing and time for myself. I mean, I can DO all of those things, but I am definitely not doing them each as well as I would like to. I feel like if I am being a really good teacher, then I am working late and not being a really good mom. If I am being a really good family gal, I am not being a really good friend. I started to feel really overwhelmed and down and that no matter what I did, I was always letting SOMEBODY down. And being a guilty person to begin with, this was seriously stressful for me.
For a while, I thought I was handling my obligations really well. Perhaps I was on some sort of a "working mom" high that just motivated me to keep on going. People were impressed that I went back to work so early and I think I was too. It helps that I like my job and I think it helps that I was forced to go back to work after 70 straight calendar days. I kept thinking, "I can do this" and I would continue to grind it out every day.
But then the first paragraph stuff happened. It wasn't pretty, folks. Nory is like a little person now - showing us how much she wants us around by screaming with excitement when we walk in from work. And seeing her wave goodbye when I leave the house is crushing (times 50)! I hate it. She handles it far better than I do and I usually require our brief trip down the elevator as a time to re-group and suck it up for the school day. The truth is.....I need more time with her. She is growing up SOOOO quickly and I want as many moments with her as possible.
Over the weekend, Phil and I both had some sort of revelation. The next day at work, he rescheduled Saturday basketball practices to Sunday nights (freeing up family time on the weekend) and he made sure to end all practices in the future in time to be home for bath time with Nory. I cancelled tutoring that same day and then had to deliver the difficult news to one of my favourite parents that I just could not continue working with her boys anymore. Voila - FAMILY FIRST.
It's really hard to get wrapped up in outside-of-the-home stuff, especially when you are the type of people that we are. I love to teach and I love to work one-on-one with kids to help them improve. Phil ADORES basketball and would do it all the time if it were feasible. We are passionate people. Passionate people who also have financial responsibilities and traveling dreams. Perhaps this is why we so easily got tangled up in the extra work that we do.
We will see how this restructuring of commitments works out. When you wake up to things like this (even when the clock says "4:45"), somehow it feels like everything is going to be A-OKAY......
For a while, I thought I was handling my obligations really well. Perhaps I was on some sort of a "working mom" high that just motivated me to keep on going. People were impressed that I went back to work so early and I think I was too. It helps that I like my job and I think it helps that I was forced to go back to work after 70 straight calendar days. I kept thinking, "I can do this" and I would continue to grind it out every day.
But then the first paragraph stuff happened. It wasn't pretty, folks. Nory is like a little person now - showing us how much she wants us around by screaming with excitement when we walk in from work. And seeing her wave goodbye when I leave the house is crushing (times 50)! I hate it. She handles it far better than I do and I usually require our brief trip down the elevator as a time to re-group and suck it up for the school day. The truth is.....I need more time with her. She is growing up SOOOO quickly and I want as many moments with her as possible.
Over the weekend, Phil and I both had some sort of revelation. The next day at work, he rescheduled Saturday basketball practices to Sunday nights (freeing up family time on the weekend) and he made sure to end all practices in the future in time to be home for bath time with Nory. I cancelled tutoring that same day and then had to deliver the difficult news to one of my favourite parents that I just could not continue working with her boys anymore. Voila - FAMILY FIRST.
It's really hard to get wrapped up in outside-of-the-home stuff, especially when you are the type of people that we are. I love to teach and I love to work one-on-one with kids to help them improve. Phil ADORES basketball and would do it all the time if it were feasible. We are passionate people. Passionate people who also have financial responsibilities and traveling dreams. Perhaps this is why we so easily got tangled up in the extra work that we do.
We will see how this restructuring of commitments works out. When you wake up to things like this (even when the clock says "4:45"), somehow it feels like everything is going to be A-OKAY......
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